so many shitty homework. amath. emath. geo. BLAH. y mus we jus slock for sec 4? grrx. anyway, i promise my cussin i'll blog abt him. xD 22MALE. POLICE-to be looking for >16 FEMALE AVE LOOKING heeeeeeex

my week hasnt been any nicer. i've been really trying to smile but i swear it hurts when i laugh it doesnt mean i'm happy. but yet when i cry, it doesnt mean i'm sad either -kinda ironic. but wad this is wad i'm gg thru.

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i asked wangxu questions which i believed it sounded wierd 4 him it's abt kissing.. =P and abt guys of cos!! or else why i'll ask him? dennis has been the one tt noticed smt's seriously wrong abt me.. thanks pal.. and thanks for giving me suggestions and stuffs. but sigh sigh sigh. i dun even know wad's wrong with me how shld i even go abt answer you when i dunnoe even know wad's wrong with me? i'm tink i'm kinda stuck inside my own world. or perhaps i jus refused to get out..

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the oral today sux alot it's abt parent and child relationship. it's 30 marks lorr. but i dun do v well in this.. and the reading.. i misread a lot.. but thankful.. i get 8pts =)

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i'm trying to talk to u agin.. but i tink it's still tough i still cant forget wad had happened in the past. but there's no hurry i tink.

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picca's not leaving till nxt week! and i'm damn happy abt it though there'll b more torture doing corrections but i tink seeing her each day is already enough. =)

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oh btw, i've went to TNPS tt day! it's nice seeing miss tan again! i really miss her i tink after o level i'm gg there to help her! *no words can describe* and to esther: i'm sorry abt wad has happened xD

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shld i ask mdm yap to teach me chinese?? so long never see her already then she suggested to teach me.. hais.......... but it's FOC leh feel so pai seh see how loh.. ask my mum 1st lorr!!

i feel sucky i feel sick when frens have problems i dun seemed to be able to help them when i have problems i dun seemed to find ppl who can help me they are jus as busy as ever out of a sudden i really miss justin at least we dun ahve much probs and he makes me happy at least when i'm with him i wont think of any problems i'm facing he makes me happy. really. when i jus wan x x x's smile and encouragement i jus dun seemed to find but justin's diff. he's jus like a big brother to me at least, he knows how to hong me. and he knows how to make me smile. but mayb i've not been loving xxx too much or mayb i'm jus reluctant to let go of xxx b'cos ...... i dunnoe la mayb i jus treat him as an elder bro he seemed to change. she seemed to change. everybody seemed to change. or mayb i was the one tt changed? i questioned everything but never myself why why why? i jus dun feel good. my tonight sleep is burnt again i supposed.

to that wadever star. have the guts to write your own name lor not as if u dun have or smt l-o-s-e-r !! so wad if my frens walk away or smt. it doesnt concerns u wad. so shut the fuck up la u tink u are so great by tagging anonymously? let me tell u, u arent. so jus get lost if u dun like the things here like hello, i never force u to read at my blog or smt so dun come la it's MINE blog. NOT YOURS. so wadever i like to blog is like MY problem so did i ask u to comment? you wan to comment then write ur name la. i hope: when u eat, u choke. when u drink water, they come out frm ur nose. when u cross the road, u kena buang by the car. when u have exam, u have a blackout. when u wished for smt to happen, they never do. when u are in a competition, u lose. when u run, u fell down and got a scar on ur leg. when u play a sport, u injured urself badly. when u take o lvl, u get a straight 40 pts. when u wear contact lens, ur eyes got swollen till u cant even see things. when u are sms-ing, ur phone simply drop itself down and broke into pieces. when u are paying for any bills or any money related things, u lost ur wallet. when u are in love, you get dumped. when u have a math test, ur calculator gets out of batteries. when u think ur fren can be trusted, they jus spread rumours abt u.

MR D (QUEK) SAYS HE HAS BEEN READING MY BLOG! argh. was kinda shocked when he suddenly talked to me.. like soooo long never see him already. HE PLAYS MAPLE omg. so old liao.. HAHA. jkjk. =) and he told me he act fierce =.=" like wad happened in class hehe. i rather him to be teaching than mdm yasmin i noe it sounded wierd/rude wad ever but at least.. haha. personal reason anyway. mr lai suggested to play majong aft we grad kinda like OMG it's mr lai leh can imagine tt kind of face? know gardening, loves flower, see chio bo leh somemore ask us play majong HAHA (i feel mean!) >.< my class ppl say i'm short and i feel depressed. but at least someone say i'm NOT =) and i'm happy cos at least i'm ard typical singaporean height. not shorter. =D my book was sent to the PUPIL DEVELOPMENT DEPT oh wtf. it's like i complain so much things abt the sch imagine it was sent to our dear mr neo, mrs seah or mr bang? wth.. grr... shld i say "thank you" to mr lai? i goanna miss ms picca.... my teacher since sec 1 *hais* i hope everything goanna fine. she has been so good to me. seeing she gg to other sch definately saddened me like how i didnt get to see her in 2 weeks or smt ='( ='( i goanna be a good kid. i jus wanna study.. well =)

i felt being cheated upon ; being lied about. you dun seemed to be the one i knew. u changed alot.. really i'm sorry but i have to say i choose to love the one you used to be words might really hurt.. but there's nth i could do cos these are facts tt i really want u to know.. but i supposed u didnt know i was refering to u. i'm sorry. i really was. class was still as noisy as ever. no one really bothered abt exams anyway, chem was totally no kick. i study like so much then i jus realised it's jus mcq.. ='( mdm norsham arent in tnps ald ='( and i missed ms tan so much and i simply missed pri sch life! in fact i missed everyone there! but too bad, it's jus my batch's teachers and staffs! (like the p, vp, om...) haha!

i'm NOT transparent mind u! u have really changed though i'm hard to admit this fact i guess i jus have to admit this it not realli like i care la. but having ppl who starts to say all the bad things abt u when they blog; but treat u exceptionally good in sch. wow! i tink u mus be darn good. x) wad ever lor. u win. things are jus a lil better tis week. kinda sudden la. but aiya. i cant b bothered.

yoz yoz yoz! back to posting.. tmr's sch goanna starts again (which means no more slacking, fun and play.. mainly jus studying and perhaps jus slacking during weekends..) went to escape like 2 days ago? was intending to update one.. when blogger was down for maintaince.. grr =.= and can anyone believe i saw esther chua???!!! so unlucky? geeX =) she bo xim one.. never ask me out! but i was thinking of asking her out one lor.... cos i thot it was like jus me, ting and ch.. so didnt who know, suddenly got jean and yy.. btw, i jus paid $4 for the fun! haha.. (it was supposed to be $16.5) luckily jus $4... cos 5 stations cannot play..and it wasnt really worth $16.50. and oh, we went bowling too! it rawks xD cos i got the highest score! hehex =) but my sis say her worst score was somewad like tt too ='( i tink i goanna bowl with my sis soon! yay! i realised tt my fear for height had came back again. haiz. my dad got my mum a new phone!!! grrx. both of them jus changed during the dec.. now they both changed again! my dad to N90 and my mum to N6680! NOT FAIR. (my mum doesnt even know how to sms; why need to change phone!!!!) i jus realised there's THIS person who arent happy abt the things i've done. fine. jus do ur own things and dun mind my business la. whether i'm happy or not doesn even bother YOU wad. not happy then jus get lost la. NOBODY is asking YOU to love ME or smt. unless YOU are plainly JEALOUS of ME. sick of me then jus dun BOTHER ME. as if i'm oblige to talk to YOU like that. YOU was the one tt was talking to ME in the first place; not the other way around. i didnt even ask frm YOU a favour or asking YOU to do anything for ME, so why shld i be giving YOU a nice face when YOU keep asking ME to do things which arent in MY way and the things which I dun like. and for god sake, YOU think i'm good to YOU? pls tink twice, i'm NOT a dog or something for YOU to order abt, listening to wadever shit YOU give out. at least i DIDNT do things which are illegal.. like gg to a guy's room, locking the door behind you. letting a guy all over YOU. letting them do those disgraceful stuffs on ur own body. YOU are a woman; a half adult already. not like some kind of "chicks" in geylang. yet YOU doesnt even know wad it means by loving urself. you simply disgrace the face of all women! LOSER! i know more things than wad u thought i didnt know. haa. xD u didnt even know someone had betray you by telling me all those things. u tink i care? obviously not. but blogging this would let the whole wide world know, how disgraceful u were, how cheap u protray urself. by the way, i'm gg back to tnps next week, most prob fri or smt? any ex-tnps ppl wan to go? or any tpss ppls? i'm finding ms tan there... =) her b'day's coming...

the feeling of frenship 1yr 10days ago was definately different frm now. -we seemed to b very distant now. i'd like to thank u for the fun we once shared though we now seemed to b in different tracks now. u'll b someone i'll rmb the fun and joys we once shared. perhaps u dun share the same thots as me... but i'd say i really love u for the things u did for me.. i uploaded this pic not to embarassed ya. but to tell the world how thankful i'm for knowing u. (pink and purple;; our colours. but somehow there's a "blue" in between us.. i dunnoe who's tt barrier. mayb thing's goanna change for the better soon!)

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no one really bothered my presence. be where i'm in. i stick out too much. why shld i even b in this world when i'm not needed? i can only find peace and happy when i'm alone. things changed so much in jus 3 mths. i used to love fun, being together with my frens. but now it wasnt. mayb b'cos i used to have big jon, esther chua but now we seemed to b gg diff directions mayb frm e start i'm jus having gd frens and never best frens now we seemed to b distant frm one another tt's y things changes mayb things'll change for the better soon.

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i've lost interest today. i'm NOT transparent or like a piece of glass! i pretended to b happy, to luff and to smile when i'm not happy at all. can anyone come to me? asking me wad's wrong? no. no. no one can. nor did anyone bothered. i wished sm1 jus scold me, tell me not to pretend anymore. pretending is a tough job. smt u have to do each day for me. tinking of new lies, finding more masks to hide my real self it's tough. it really is. but who knew wad it feels to b? who can come to me, telling me to take off tt face mask of mine? to lead me out of this misery. to cheer me up when things are down. i wished i could control my life i wished i could control e way things go but i jus cant. wtf.

life wasnt fair. say i'm sensative/petty wadever. i hate it when ppl starts to say bad things abt ME. especially when i declare (or rather think and regard) them as super good (best) fren. is this wad i'm SUPPOSED to get? it wasnt jus like a day or two. it was like often and i'm trying my best to ignore all those. yet it jus continuted. wth. i've practically nothing much to say. you commented each and every single thing which i used to b confident of. u could b the one tt comment me. but i can never do the same. and i've decided. as long as there's anything to do with jerry, i shall jus heck care. i take the teasing as jus purely FUN. seems like he didnt. fine. i found a new fren today........... HWEE HUAN my today's confidant =) i told her every single thing abt me; my entire life e only secrets tt only 3 people knew. and now her. jus me, des, *cant say who* knew... not even ah chua knew........ sorryy. why is it like all the guys are jus practically the same? i dun like it. though they claimed tt nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai.. but it seems abit too off hor..... so many ppl are saying tt to me! why are they ogling over the sex video? all of them were jus concentrating their vision on "tammy" why wasnt anyone commenting at the guy who's having sex with her? grrrrrr..... poor gal.. i wonder how's she gg to get out..... and to face to world... i'm starting to miss ms picca....... ='( but she goanna leave in june... i would like to ask, whether she tink it's fair for us......... but oh well. wad more can i ask frm her, a teacher tt has taught me for 4 yrs. but teaching in a better sch definately is better for her. but wad abt us? no offence though (= i may b aiming for a JC. so to further my dream........ of becoming a chu se chinese teacher! NYJC? TPJC? cant make up my mind....... JC road may have been planned........ left my results.... but wad abt POLY road? if i wan to go biochem/biotech, wad shld i do after tt? to be a scientist? wad if i cant even go uni? jus waste my life like my sis? *hais* i dunnoe wad to do la. jus get my results first lor..... to jonathan~ i wan u to get well... SOON. i hope, i can b the one tt can help u thru this whole process............. though u still have SM, ah CHUA etc. perhaps y i can talk so much with him was tt i have different thinking with SM......... mayb tt's y. i dun stress ppl too much X)) mayb i'm jus myself.. who sat at my place in chem lab? we got contamination twice already lor. wtf. i dun enjoy doing so many times jus to find out it WAS contaminated. it resulted ME not having enough time to do 3 times. argh. and can anyone believe it? i can dream abt mr lai? HAHA. and i thot i saw his twin bro.. but he didnt have........ MR LAI GOT AN ELDER SIS? can any1 believe it? HAHAHA.......................

DARN. felt so pissed off with the fucking rumours. stop all the "peach" things can? JONATHAN the meanie pok! cheers (=

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for me, i didnt know tt BEST friend will b the one tt tease u the most (in front) of my other frens. insulting me as much as YOU can. always trying to pull me dwn and making me feels lousy. to b making me angry and so pissed off jus because of YOUR insults makes u feel better? wad abt me trying them onto YOU. YOU wont b happy either. so spare me frm all those. yet YOU expect me to be there for YOU each and every single day, without fail. always needing care, love and everything. i can never be the one tt bullies YOU, tease or anything. YOU may excel in certain things whereas i'm NOT. thus, i'm DIFFERENT from YOU. stop thinking as if YOU are like so great. i didnt compare my good points with you... i swear i dont. has life always been fair? my stand is NO; it never will b. YOU wanted me to b there. and i did. YOU wanted sm1 to lean on. i was there. yet YOU was the one tt kept secrets frm me YOU was the one tt tease, joke and always making a mockery of me! there IS a limit to everything.

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the progress report grades are out. and they sux like shit. having all like 50+ isnt good in any sense. i needed more than 24h a day. less school hours might helped. SOMEONE claims tt IT can do better in loci test than any other ppl in MY class. having to attend 1 lesson with mdm ho can cover wad we learn in 1 week. i can rmb so clearly how IT tell one of my fren, I STUDY 1DAY CAN ALREADY.. U ALL NEEDED 1WEEK. isnt IT damn show-off? but nvm, IT was like the LOWEST in class? SO MUCH FOR SHOWING-OFF. try more of skipping sch. cos i think it helps to pull down marks. of which, u shall b made a mockery by ME. of cos, i cant wait for this day.

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junwei daddy, u rawks. saying all those things in in-focus chinese. those words of acting cute, actiions are things tt can make me laugh. the way IT holds IT's pen. the way IT talks. LOL. and ben kok kor, for ignoring IT fucked up attitude.. esp the day we went suntec city.. u know wad i mean (= abt the seats...

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btw, i'm finally changing back to HOME tuition. which means i dun have to travel till the central of s'pore jus for 4h of tuition and a break. but it's gg to b ex! i shall do ALL my tuition work mr lee has given me.. and makes him less hair of cos!

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damn banana! phone doesnt "shake", it "vibrates". even for a person who sucks in english also knows tt the term used is vibrates, not shake. OMG. ur england must b damn powerful. and i dun believe crying does helps. cos when ppl knows the truth, u shall b the one being despised. (=

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is justin and me kinda fated? seeing each other at different place after 1h is definately surprising. i went to eat and go out after tt. yet, he was supposed, to b gg shopping and he went home... and i saw him tabao food an hour later! oh no.. des say is i ji zuo duo qing... mayb it's true? haha.............. joke la!

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saw lots of ppl td! like senior Kelvin Yap, Kingston Khoo, Cheryl Wang, WanLing, Melissa Jie, Jolie and of cos, Justin Yang. suddenly, i kinda missed them.... the seniors and the ones who grad.. other than justin.. hais.

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take care, my dear qin ai de mdm sim. (=